Tomorrow is “D” day. ”D” for dread.
I go back to work after 20+ weeks off (here is where you can hate me since I miraculously defied infertility and gave birth 12 weeks before the end of the school year- hence the extended maternity leave).
I don’t feel guilty about going back to work, but that may be because my husband is now on duty for 9 weeks. Maybe the guilt will come when we start taking her to day care at the end of October. Right now I am just sad. Sad that I am going to miss out on time with her. Sad that the last 5 months flew by. Just sad.
It is going to take us a few weeks to find our new “normal” and then that will change again when we are both working full-time. Let the adventure begin. . . I am just crossing my fingers and toes that I can find the patience with myself to find a new flow.
Along the way I know there are going to be some tears. Some days of frustration. Some days where I feel like it is all coming together.
I am going to miss her for sure. But the silver lining, I cares so much less about work. Now when I leave at the end of the day I have even more reason not to let the workplace “get to me”. I will not allow my job to overpower or detract from my time with my family (I am going to repeat this mantra over, and over, and over again.)
In the end I guess this is my first parenting lesson in letting go. With many more lessons to come.
How did we go from this . . .
To this . . .
Today I am grateful for: Great running companions who made 12 miles so much nicer yesterday, Less humidity, TV shows that make me laugh out loud (Weeds!), Baby kisses 
You can do it!! I don’t know what your schedule is, but it helped me to not see Chloe in the mornings before I left for work. She would stay home with my husband and still be sleeping when I left (I’d sneak a peak on the video monitor, but that was it). I was also constantly looking at pics on FB, my husband sent me a few pics throughout the day of what they were doing, and honestly I enjoyed being back at work and carrying on adult conversations. Of course I missed my daughter like crazy, but it wasn’t as bad of a transition as I expected. I will say NOW it’s harder going back to work after the weekends b/c she is so much more interactive and I really enjoy those two days off with her. Good luck, I hope there aren’t too many tears shed.
Good luck tomorrow, I will be thinking of you. It will be over before you know it and you can rush home to squeeze that baby up
Awww. She was so tiny! Gorgeous, gorgeous goregous! Good luck for your return to work. Its not about the quantity of time we have with them its the quality. I can only imagine how you will “eat her up” when you get home. I hope you enjoy your work time too it will be interesting to hear of how you feel about it and enjoy it now you are a mother. Keep us posted!!!
Thinking of you!
This has to be so hard, I can’t imagine what you’re going through! I will be thinking of you this week and hoping everything goes well. Love you!
i’m so glad you’ve gotten to have so much time with her, but i’m sad for you to be going back to work, too. you are an awesome mama and i know you’ll get settled in your new routine. i’m gonna miss being able to go on walks with you, though!