Tomorrow is “D” day. ”D” for dread.
I go back to work after 20+ weeks off (here is where you can hate me since I miraculously defied infertility and gave birth 12 weeks before the end of the school year- hence the extended maternity leave).
I don’t feel guilty about going back to work, but that may be because my husband is now on duty for 9 weeks. Maybe the guilt will come when we start taking her to day care at the end of October. Right now I am just sad. Sad that I am going to miss out on time with her. Sad that the last 5 months flew by. Just sad.
It is going to take us a few weeks to find our new “normal” and then that will change again when we are both working full-time. Let the adventure begin. . . I am just crossing my fingers and toes that I can find the patience with myself to find a new flow.
Along the way I know there are going to be some tears. Some days of frustration. Some days where I feel like it is all coming together.
I am going to miss her for sure. But the silver lining, I cares so much less about work. Now when I leave at the end of the day I have even more reason not to let the workplace “get to me”. I will not allow my job to overpower or detract from my time with my family (I am going to repeat this mantra over, and over, and over again.)
In the end I guess this is my first parenting lesson in letting go. With many more lessons to come.
How did we go from this . . .
To this . . .
Today I am grateful for: Great running companions who made 12 miles so much nicer yesterday, Less humidity, TV shows that make me laugh out loud (Weeds!), Baby kisses